EPMMAB taps out

Here it is....the new incarnation of L.A.s best MMA blog. Enjoy & thanks for reading.

http://mxmxa.wordpress.com/

EPMMAB: Evolution

Hey all you faithful worshippers at the most sacred & holy EPMMAB shrine, here's some good news. We're working on upgrading this "little blog that could" to a format we're sure you'll all appreciate. We don't want to reveal too much but here's a clue for the more inquisitive among you: it rhymes with "birdpress". You can look forward to interviews, editorials, live-blogging of local events & of course some very vicious, vituperative & vitriolic verbal assaults on those other MMA websites who dare think they deserve to exist on the same worldwide web as we do.

We now take you back to your regularly scheduled programming; namely, a short list of why bjj is better than wrestling.

-Somehow, "kimonos" are actually much more masculine than "singlets".
-We actually try to submit our opponents, not just dry-hump them until time runs out.
-BJJ pioneer: Rickson Gracie. Wrestling pioneer: Junkyard Dawg.
-There are no "pancakes", "chicken wings", "Hi-C's" or "banana splits" in BJJ.
-Bjj is based on technique, not how much weight you can cut.

Hey-oh.

Strikeforce headed to L.A., beeyotches

Just when I was reeeeally bumming out over Strikeforce's MW champ Jake Shields defecting to the UFC, thus putting a major kink in my anti-Zuffa boycott, they find a way to cheer me up. They're heading out here to my hometown of sunny, smoggy, psycho Los Angeles for an event to coincide with the E3 expo at the Convention Center down the street. Looks like EA Sports' endorsement of Strikeforce is working out. Tell me you weren't impressed by those little re-enactments during Strikeforce Nashville!

Featuring: Robbie Lawler vs Babalu (my BJJ teacher's buddy, pardon me for namedropping), JK "I beat Nick Diaz" Noons & also, for some reason, a match featuring the would-be black Brock Lesnar, Bobby Lashley.

Yes, EPMMAB will be there, up front & in person. Yes, we will be live blogging throughout the event. And yes, we will be consuming seveveral hundred empty calories in the form of fermented yeast, barley & hops!

EPMMAB issues formal apology to Mark Hunt

Dear Mark Hunt,

Echo Park MMA Blog recently published an article comparing the merits of Alistair Overeem & Fedor Emelianenko by way of how fast each fighter could submit you. This was in no way meant to cast aspersions on you or your MMA career. EPMMA blog paid to see the PRIDE Shockwave PPV in which you performed your now legendary "atomic butt-drop" en route to your upset win over Wanderlei Silva. We cheered for you so much when you beat CroCop we ended up wearing our beer. We have nothing but love for Mark Hunt & wish more (or even some) fighters had half the stones you do. We also look forward to seeing you back in the ring or cage, doing what you do best: beating the everliving snot out of the world's best fighters. To that end, we're proud to display this HL reel & hope our readers appreciate the ironic juxtaposition of the girly soundtrack & the staggeringly violent content.

Sincerely,
EPMMAB

Overeem & Emelianenko take the Mark Hunt test

Let's fast-forward a bit here & say that Fedor beats Werdum, Overeem beats Rogers, & we finally get a legit challenger to Fedor's made-to-order "W.A.M.M.A." title.

I took the liberty of putting together this highly-scientific formula for determining who holds the advantage. I compared the outcome of two fights against one common opponent: the inimitable Mark Hunt.

Having won 5 of his last 6 fights, almost all by stoppage, Mark Hunt was wreaking havoc on the Japanese circuit. His MMA decline started right around the time he fought Fedor & Overeem back-to-back.

Fedor was able to submit the rampaging Kiwi 8 minutes into Round 1 (these are 10 minute Japanese-style rounds, you'll recall). And Overeem? Why, he cut right to the chase & tapped Hunt in less than 2 minutes. Faster than Fedor and, incidentally, faster than 'roided-out rassler Josh Barnett. But don't take my word for it; check it out for yourself...







Advantage: Overeem.

Dana White strikes again...

So the arch-villain of MMA has once again wreaked havoc on my visions of a UFC-free future. Jake Shields, Strikeforce's great white hope, has apparently enetered into negotiations with the evil empire known as Z.U.F.F.A. Fucking great. I would have known sooner but since I refuse to watch any progamming by the Z -word, I missed Shields & Dana White chumming it up in the front row while Aldo stomped Faber.

What really shocks me is that somehow Strikeforce let Shields defend his goddamn title on the last (last!!!) fight on his contract. Even though they landed the CBS/Showtime deal, a move like that shows incredibly un-savvy business acumen. If Dana White's borderline-libelous accusations that Strikeforce wanted to fuck Shields over by having Hendo kick his ass & take his belt on the last fight of his contract hold any merit, then maybe I jumped onto a bandwagon being steered by nitwits. But it felt so good to believe that I had found a cure for the UFC's $50 a month habit.

So! Well played, Mr. White. I hear you may also be bringing the older, more stoned Diaz brother back to your eight-sided sideshow. I'm just going to throw this out there...I don't think you ever wanted a network deal in the first place. Why would you? Splitting the profits with network execs & giving up your piece of the gate, not to mention the "tax" you levy on sponsors doesn't sound like something you'd be interested in. Neither does having to face legit sportswriters without using language that would make a sailor blush.

So barring a brutal KO of Fedor at the hands of Overeem, Strikeforce suddenly has much less to offer this disgrunted MMA-obsessed blogger. Back to KOTC. Sorry I stepped out on you, guys.

5 Oz of Pain Hates on Jake Shields

So those jackanapes at 5 Ounces of Pain are calling Shields' fight against Hendo (the one where he survived two 1st-round knockdowns & came back to put on a 20-min BJJ clinic) a "lackluster win".

Sorry guys, tag-team chair-&-ladder lumberjack matches haven't been officially sanctioned yet. We'll just have to make do with fast-paced, gutsy, highly-technical displays of MMA prowess in the meantime. Go cry in your Mountain Dew why dontcha.