EPMMAB: Evolution

Hey all you faithful worshippers at the most sacred & holy EPMMAB shrine, here's some good news. We're working on upgrading this "little blog that could" to a format we're sure you'll all appreciate. We don't want to reveal too much but here's a clue for the more inquisitive among you: it rhymes with "birdpress". You can look forward to interviews, editorials, live-blogging of local events & of course some very vicious, vituperative & vitriolic verbal assaults on those other MMA websites who dare think they deserve to exist on the same worldwide web as we do.

We now take you back to your regularly scheduled programming; namely, a short list of why bjj is better than wrestling.

-Somehow, "kimonos" are actually much more masculine than "singlets".
-We actually try to submit our opponents, not just dry-hump them until time runs out.
-BJJ pioneer: Rickson Gracie. Wrestling pioneer: Junkyard Dawg.
-There are no "pancakes", "chicken wings", "Hi-C's" or "banana splits" in BJJ.
-Bjj is based on technique, not how much weight you can cut.

Hey-oh.

Strikeforce headed to L.A., beeyotches

Just when I was reeeeally bumming out over Strikeforce's MW champ Jake Shields defecting to the UFC, thus putting a major kink in my anti-Zuffa boycott, they find a way to cheer me up. They're heading out here to my hometown of sunny, smoggy, psycho Los Angeles for an event to coincide with the E3 expo at the Convention Center down the street. Looks like EA Sports' endorsement of Strikeforce is working out. Tell me you weren't impressed by those little re-enactments during Strikeforce Nashville!

Featuring: Robbie Lawler vs Babalu (my BJJ teacher's buddy, pardon me for namedropping), JK "I beat Nick Diaz" Noons & also, for some reason, a match featuring the would-be black Brock Lesnar, Bobby Lashley.

Yes, EPMMAB will be there, up front & in person. Yes, we will be live blogging throughout the event. And yes, we will be consuming seveveral hundred empty calories in the form of fermented yeast, barley & hops!

EPMMAB issues formal apology to Mark Hunt

Dear Mark Hunt,

Echo Park MMA Blog recently published an article comparing the merits of Alistair Overeem & Fedor Emelianenko by way of how fast each fighter could submit you. This was in no way meant to cast aspersions on you or your MMA career. EPMMA blog paid to see the PRIDE Shockwave PPV in which you performed your now legendary "atomic butt-drop" en route to your upset win over Wanderlei Silva. We cheered for you so much when you beat CroCop we ended up wearing our beer. We have nothing but love for Mark Hunt & wish more (or even some) fighters had half the stones you do. We also look forward to seeing you back in the ring or cage, doing what you do best: beating the everliving snot out of the world's best fighters. To that end, we're proud to display this HL reel & hope our readers appreciate the ironic juxtaposition of the girly soundtrack & the staggeringly violent content.

Sincerely,
EPMMAB

Overeem & Emelianenko take the Mark Hunt test

Let's fast-forward a bit here & say that Fedor beats Werdum, Overeem beats Rogers, & we finally get a legit challenger to Fedor's made-to-order "W.A.M.M.A." title.

I took the liberty of putting together this highly-scientific formula for determining who holds the advantage. I compared the outcome of two fights against one common opponent: the inimitable Mark Hunt.

Having won 5 of his last 6 fights, almost all by stoppage, Mark Hunt was wreaking havoc on the Japanese circuit. His MMA decline started right around the time he fought Fedor & Overeem back-to-back.

Fedor was able to submit the rampaging Kiwi 8 minutes into Round 1 (these are 10 minute Japanese-style rounds, you'll recall). And Overeem? Why, he cut right to the chase & tapped Hunt in less than 2 minutes. Faster than Fedor and, incidentally, faster than 'roided-out rassler Josh Barnett. But don't take my word for it; check it out for yourself...







Advantage: Overeem.

Dana White strikes again...

So the arch-villain of MMA has once again wreaked havoc on my visions of a UFC-free future. Jake Shields, Strikeforce's great white hope, has apparently enetered into negotiations with the evil empire known as Z.U.F.F.A. Fucking great. I would have known sooner but since I refuse to watch any progamming by the Z -word, I missed Shields & Dana White chumming it up in the front row while Aldo stomped Faber.

What really shocks me is that somehow Strikeforce let Shields defend his goddamn title on the last (last!!!) fight on his contract. Even though they landed the CBS/Showtime deal, a move like that shows incredibly un-savvy business acumen. If Dana White's borderline-libelous accusations that Strikeforce wanted to fuck Shields over by having Hendo kick his ass & take his belt on the last fight of his contract hold any merit, then maybe I jumped onto a bandwagon being steered by nitwits. But it felt so good to believe that I had found a cure for the UFC's $50 a month habit.

So! Well played, Mr. White. I hear you may also be bringing the older, more stoned Diaz brother back to your eight-sided sideshow. I'm just going to throw this out there...I don't think you ever wanted a network deal in the first place. Why would you? Splitting the profits with network execs & giving up your piece of the gate, not to mention the "tax" you levy on sponsors doesn't sound like something you'd be interested in. Neither does having to face legit sportswriters without using language that would make a sailor blush.

So barring a brutal KO of Fedor at the hands of Overeem, Strikeforce suddenly has much less to offer this disgrunted MMA-obsessed blogger. Back to KOTC. Sorry I stepped out on you, guys.

5 Oz of Pain Hates on Jake Shields

So those jackanapes at 5 Ounces of Pain are calling Shields' fight against Hendo (the one where he survived two 1st-round knockdowns & came back to put on a 20-min BJJ clinic) a "lackluster win".

Sorry guys, tag-team chair-&-ladder lumberjack matches haven't been officially sanctioned yet. We'll just have to make do with fast-paced, gutsy, highly-technical displays of MMA prowess in the meantime. Go cry in your Mountain Dew why dontcha.

Strikeforce keeps it real

Strikeforce: Nashville was so good, even their post-fight brawl had more action than Anderson Silva's last fight.

Thank you thank you thank you, Strikeforce. Mousasi vs Lawal was a war, Melendez punished Aoki for bitching out, & Shields is a modern-day Royce Gracie.

btw that's what Mayhem gets for trying to steal the spotlight; has he already forgotten the beating Shields just gave him?

Hendo noshes in Nashville

Check out Dan Henderson before & after making weight...from 185 after the staredown to 200 after supper. What a difference some Pedialyte & brown rice will make!

Detroit Rock City: KOTC "Bad Boys 2"

So I'm bumming that I don't have HDNET (yeah, I know, no excuse for such a vocal KOTC supporter like me not having it) but gimme a break, I'm just a humble blogger with a lame-ass day-job. I will, however, be headed out to see them when they get back to San Manuel. Ayways, if you're keeping track on Twitter, the fists are flying & there's already been a highlight-reel KTFO. Damn I wish I was watching it! Oh well, I have Dodgers/Giants & a 24-oz Tecate as a consolation. Oh btw Frank Trigg is tweeting from the front row, that's where the foto is from. Damn! Did I mention I wish I was watching it?

WhoFC? Countdown to Strikeforce: Nashville

Looking at tomorrow night's Strikeforce card, you have to give them props. They're putting on a better card than the UFC has in months. 3 title defenses (from legit champs, I might add) & it's f-r-e-e.

Shields vs Henderson is going to be epic. Wrestling vs jits & two guys who don't have "lay'n'pray" in their vocabularies. I'm picking Shields by unanimous decision. All he has to do is dodge that haymaker & the Gracies will do the rest. i could go on & on about this one but I have $20 on it so I'm just going to think positive.

Gegard Mousasi vs King Mo will be another fun fight to watch. I'm not putting too much stock in Mousasi's mat-time with Fedor, since that's just rolling with a paper champ, but his record (28-2) & pedigree (Judo & Dutch kickboxing) are worth noting. I also like that he ditched those Russian mobsters known as M-1 management. The only thing I don't like is his moving up in weight; that's been a killer for some of the best. Still, I think he'll be able to submit Lawal...just not without taking a few wallops.

Now we get down to the LW title. Gilbert Melendez vs Shinya Aoki? On primetime network tv? Are you fucking kidding me? 15 years ago when we would all pile in the car & bring a 12-pack to my friend who had cable to see Marco Ruas in the UFC, we never would have thought we'd be seeing this on channel 2. Two top-tier LWs that I guaran-damn-tee will put on more of a show than you're used to seeing when you watch the UFC at Hooters.

And as if that wasn't enough, Mayhem Miller makes an appearance. So we have MTV celebs, technical wizards & MMA legends all in one card. Looks like I jumped off the UFC bandwagon at just the right time.

Running the Gauntlet @ Cesar Gracie's

Here are two Strikeforce champs getting their black belts from Cesar Gracie & taking part in that age-old tradition that separates the boys from the men. Rigan Machado once explained why he no longer lets his students "run the gauntlet"...too many students were soaking their belts in the bathroom sink or tying them in so many knots they stood up on their own, thus putting the promotee through a vicious line of improvised bullwhips & billyclubs. Good to see they still have things under control up North...



I guess that's the no-gi version. Now here's Nick Diaz...



And just as a bonus for you die-hard EPMMABers here's lil bro Nate getting his brown belt...

Life after Zuffa

Still lots to talk about without debating if Edgar should rematch Maynard before Penn. To whit:

Ray Mercer vs Bobby Green has been taken off the KOTC "Bad Boys 2" in Detroit. Mercer, former WBO champ perhaps best known for his KTFO win over former UFC champ Tim Sylvia, was scheduled to face KOTC Junior Welterweight champ Bobby Green but both have sustained injuries forcing them off the card. I imagine Jeremy Horn vs Jake Rosholt will now be the main event & that's cool.

Dan "Hollywood" Henderson vs Jake Shields is coming up this weekend. Not sure where that "Hollywood" nickname came from. Murrieta may be in SoCal, it's the antithesis of Hollywood in so many ways. I like Shield's chances; Hendo is still a big name but without that razor-thin split decision over Rich Franklin, his last significant win is over Wandy in '07. Shields is on the way up & Dan is another stepping stone.

More Strikeforce news: if Overeem doesn't face Fedor after beating Rogers then I'm going to be fucking pissed. I'm also kind of perturbed by Bigfoot Silva's presence on the same card. Mayhem vs Stout kind of makes up for it, though. I guess that's really more op/ed than news but my blog, my rules.

In local news: Pasadena Fight Academy, Savant Young's labor of love, is hosting another "Proving Grounds" fight night. They've relocated (a little closer to Old Town) so don't park in front of Whole Foods anymore unless you're in the mood for free-trade wheatgrass.

I might try to live blog Strikeforce this Saturday, we'll see how saucy I feel...

Moving on: Hello, Strikeforce

Well I wasn't kidding when I said I was washing my hands of the Zuffa brand. Yes, I have WEC on Vs in the background but hey, I may as well get my money's worth out of my cable bill after racking it up on that Abu Dhabi downer.

So here we go, into the great unknown. I have to admit I've turned a cold shoulder towards Strikeforce in the past so I'll be making up for lost time. And I'm genuinely looking forward to Henderson/Shields. This ex-wrestler from Cal Poly at my work rememebrs Hendo as "that crazy guy" from back in the day & also happened to train with Shields so I'll see if I can pick his brain.

Once again, I'm happy to see rasslin' vs jits only this time there sure as Hell better be some groundfighting! Yes, I'm still smarting from all the stand-up pitter-patter from UFC 112.

Is Hendo over the hill? Didn't look like it when he left The Count counting sheep. Can Shields handle someone with size, strength & cardio? He made a monkey out of Mayhem. Looks to be a pretty decent fight!

5 Ounces of Painfully Bad Writing

Now for a little comedy to lighten things up. One of the reasons I started this blog is that I was so nauseated by the dizzyingly bad writing on 5 Ounces of Pain. You may think I’m just a frustrated fanboy who wasn’t good enough to cut it in the big leagues of MMA fanboy-journalism, so I’ll do you all the service (or disservice, as it were) of sharing some of the gems we’re all treated to by the mighty 5 Oz. Be warned; you've probably read more coherent material written in crayon on the back of a kid's menu.

On the possibility of the UFC bringing back it’s tournament format:
… mainstream sports like the NFL, NBA, and MLB have a pretty hefty head start. The other thing they have, are playoffs and playoffs generate a lot of revenue for these leagues, I mean even the WWE has a marquee event in Wrestlemania, but the UFC doesn’t have an iconic event like Wrestlemania, The Superbowl, or The World Series but couldn’t it be time to build one? If there was a tournament where the winner would be crowned the UFC Grand Prix champion and given a belt in addition to the opportunity to challenge current belt holder in that division, if that person were in fact not the same person, in my mind would not only be exciting to watch but, would establish that crown jewel in the organization since each weight class would compete once every five years.
-Eric O’Brien

On Frank Mir’s future in the Octagon:
Any momentum Mir may have had from the “victory” was quickly derailed following a devastating beatdown suffered at the hands of natural light heavyweight, Brandon Vera. A defeat that had Mir’s own wife verbally breaking him down. ‘Randy Couture, didn’t he get his ass kicked by Josh Barnett embarrassingly bad? Now look at Randy Couture. Was he a bitch like this? I wonder if he was a bitch like this,’ Mir quoted his wife as saying in an interview with MMA Weekly. ‘I wonder if I talked to Randy, I wonder if I could be his woman, and not your (expletive) woman.’At the age of 30, Mir can still be a competitive fighter, but the motorcycle crash took away some of his best years and he will still feel the pain from the accident despite years of rehab and the major surgery to put Mir back together.
-Robert Goeman

On Florian vs Gomi:
I think the biggest mistake I’m seeing people make is a focus on Gomi. Yes he is the former Pride lightweight champion, Yes he is a Grand Prix winner, Yes he was a dominant Shooto champion. For those of us who have been watching the sport for a long time Gomi has amazed us with his punching power. Simply put, he is a legend mma’s recent past.
-David Andrest

If you can wade through that pile of shit (yes, we’re actually allowed to curse on this site) without getting a headache then you shouldn’t be reading EPMMAB; you should be outside playing with your goddamn Power Rangers. Be sure to be back in time for supper, though! Otherwise your mommy might not let you watch the next ppv…

EPMMAB: RIP UFC PPV

"UFC 112: Invincible" was the most inappropriately named event to date. Renzo & Hughes kickboxed, Penn & Edgar just plain-old boxed, & Silva is officially on my shitlist.

No more UFCs on my cable bill. I'm officially switching over to Strikeforce. I'll just turn the volume down & call the fights myself.

Dana White says he'll find a way to make it up to the fans. How?! Mailing us all checks for $55?

EPMMAB & Zuffa are parting ways; no more UFC, TUF or WEC coverage in the foreseeable future. Stay tuned for indepth coverage of events that actually feature bona fide MMA.

TUF: Chuck vs Tito...what did I miss?

Ok, so I changed the channel after Florian tapped Gomi. But I have a sneaking suspicion I know what happened on the season premiere of TUF. A buncha fighters showed up & fought each other for a spot in the house. Some of them were out of shape. Dana White gabbed about the rivalry between Chuck & Tito. Tito probably still looks a little funky from that eye injury. Chuck probably isn't getting his feathers ruffled over Tito's shit-talking. They pick teams & Tito finds a way to crowbar in some DWTS jokes. Uh...what else...um...oh yeah, there's supposed to be some new twist. I'm guessing that it's something about picking teams or picking fights or people getting sent home if they lose or maybe they have to change teams if they lose or something goofy like that.

Ok so I just looked it up online; I think I had the right idea. Although it sounds like Chuck got the better of Tito when it comes to verbal sparring. And that "wild card" is nothing new. They always bring back losers after the other guys get hurt or bitch out. Would have liked to have seen that dude get his nose caved in , though. Also, that Afro-Puff lookin' dude went to my high school. South Pas, baby.