Now for a little comedy to lighten things up. One of the reasons I started this blog is that I was so nauseated by the dizzyingly bad writing on 5 Ounces of Pain. You may think I’m just a frustrated fanboy who wasn’t good enough to cut it in the big leagues of MMA fanboy-journalism, so I’ll do you all the service (or disservice, as it were) of sharing some of the gems we’re all treated to by the mighty 5 Oz. Be warned; you've probably read more coherent material written in crayon on the back of a kid's menu.
On the possibility of the UFC bringing back it’s tournament format:
… mainstream sports like the NFL, NBA, and MLB have a pretty hefty head start. The other thing they have, are playoffs and playoffs generate a lot of revenue for these leagues, I mean even the WWE has a marquee event in Wrestlemania, but the UFC doesn’t have an iconic event like Wrestlemania, The Superbowl, or The World Series but couldn’t it be time to build one? If there was a tournament where the winner would be crowned the UFC Grand Prix champion and given a belt in addition to the opportunity to challenge current belt holder in that division, if that person were in fact not the same person, in my mind would not only be exciting to watch but, would establish that crown jewel in the organization since each weight class would compete once every five years.
-Eric O’Brien
On Frank Mir’s future in the Octagon:
Any momentum Mir may have had from the “victory” was quickly derailed following a devastating beatdown suffered at the hands of natural light heavyweight, Brandon Vera. A defeat that had Mir’s own wife verbally breaking him down. ‘Randy Couture, didn’t he get his ass kicked by Josh Barnett embarrassingly bad? Now look at Randy Couture. Was he a bitch like this? I wonder if he was a bitch like this,’ Mir quoted his wife as saying in an interview with MMA Weekly. ‘I wonder if I talked to Randy, I wonder if I could be his woman, and not your (expletive) woman.’At the age of 30, Mir can still be a competitive fighter, but the motorcycle crash took away some of his best years and he will still feel the pain from the accident despite years of rehab and the major surgery to put Mir back together.
-Robert Goeman
On Florian vs Gomi:
I think the biggest mistake I’m seeing people make is a focus on Gomi. Yes he is the former Pride lightweight champion, Yes he is a Grand Prix winner, Yes he was a dominant Shooto champion. For those of us who have been watching the sport for a long time Gomi has amazed us with his punching power. Simply put, he is a legend mma’s recent past.
-David Andrest
If you can wade through that pile of shit (yes, we’re actually allowed to curse on this site) without getting a headache then you shouldn’t be reading EPMMAB; you should be outside playing with your goddamn Power Rangers. Be sure to be back in time for supper, though! Otherwise your mommy might not let you watch the next ppv…
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